


With the wanting

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ali writes a letter to somebody who's not with her anymore</p>
            </blockquote>





	With the wanting

**Author's Note:**

> Well I was at one of my writting classes, and the teacher asked us to make a love letter, mine was inspired by the song "Con las ganas" by Zahara, a beautiful song with thousands of interpretations because it's too metaphorical.   
> I hope you like it.

_Hey Ash…_

_I remembered the first time I looked at you, and you didn’t even notice my existence. I bet that for you I was only another girl, one of hundreds, like the ones you get to see everywhere, I was aware I don’t have a chance with you. But I still have in my mind when you came and talk to me, I still remember you were the one who started flirting with me, and the best day of my life was when you told me ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’, and in that moment I didn’t realize all the sins we were going to commit, and how we will climb in forbidden elevators. And we will share everything about us_

_We played to be humans in my room, in your room, in our room. I made the impossible for you, you give me your everything, and this love felt like something eternal, we were two people who didn’t want to sleep during the night.  I remember our first time, we were both shy, but that didn’t stop us, we kissed every inch in our bodies, we undressed each other, I felt like a thousand little ants running through my body. My insecurities didn’t make you step back, and I couldn’t contain myself the first time I screamed your name…_

_I didn’t want us to end; I started living because you and I were together, we planned our future together, we felt right, we felt perfect, we were attached in a spiritual and physical level. I was walking over heaven, thousands of miles above anyone else. But we were playing to be humans in our room, and we didn’t want to sleep._

_But we had that fight; I hate that day, that moment, that hour, that minute and that second. I don’t even know why we started arguing, I just remember the pain I felt right in my chest. Even if we make up, we started feeling uncomfortable, and every time we started talking we ended up fighting and screaming. I could see our pain, I can’t stand be mad at you. And ‘we’ started to fade away, and we both saw it. But you were the first one to say ‘this is over’, and you killed me. You had no idea, you didn’t get it. I can’t stand not being by your side. But we were playing to be humans in our room, pretending we didn’t want to sleep._

_How long it has passed? Maybe weeks, maybe months, and I was beyond depressed, you weren’t with me. But the next time we saw each other I just couldn’t tell you how much I missed you. You tried to be friendly, but you didn’t get it, I couldn’t be just your friend. You tried to mend things, but I didn’t even though I was dying to be back in your arms, why I was fooling myself? How stupid I was. I couldn’t stand that, so I went to your place, and we talked, we shouted, we fight; we said things we didn’t mean, I still remember when I told you… When I…_

_I was so mad; I didn’t realize I ran away from you. I just stopped listening to your voice, forever…_

_I remember that afternoon, I was looking at my phone, with my finger ready to push the button and call you, tell everything I really wanted to tell you, I don’t know how you could believe I was over you, I guess I pretended it well, but every time I reached my bed, under my sheets it was so easy to remember your face, your perfume, your touch… But just when I was about to call you, it started ringing, and I curse the moment I picked it up, I’m still wanting that moment and from then on to be a horrible nightmare._

_They call me to say you’ve had a car crash, and I was your emergency number. I just felt how my soul died in that moment, I was thirsty of you, and I wanted to feel your fire burning inside my body again… I never realized how stupid I was making this longer than it should be. All the ‘maybes’ that go through my head just killed me a little bit more._

_I’m here, writing this stupid letter, I can’t stand this world without you. But we just forgot we were humans, we were just two people pretending we were forever, and we didn’t want to sleep…_

_And you will never know how much I love you, and you will never hear how much I miss you. But for me, every night when I close my eyes I dream about you and that is so easy for me, remember your face, your touch, your perfume, your sweet voice calling my name and telling me how much you love me, saying we were forever, and I just pray to be true, that when I open my eyes there will be you next to me, with that stupid smile who melts my heart, but when I wake up to an empty bed I just can’t believe you will never get to hear how much I miss you, you will never get to hear how much I love you, and I’m here just with the wanting._

_Ali._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it!   
> And sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first lenguage and I guess it's difficult to tell if the things I wrote are gramatically correct.   
> Leave a comment if you feel like it.   
> Maybe I will write a 'sequel' with one of Ali's dreams but not sure yet...


End file.
